Fun observations about life in Kenya

Extended stays in a foreign land always come with some fun and sometimes not-so-fun peculiarities, idiosyncrasies, and interesting experiences. I like to write these down because they make me smile when I read them at the end of trips (once I'm accustomed to the things I first found odd or funny) and years after. Here are some for Kenya so far:

1) Having children shout at you when you walk by. This I find almost always adorable and endearing. Kids most often just stare at me with wide-eyed wonder like I am fluorescent purple or with the mesmerized expression of someone who is hypnotized by a flickering television. Once they realize I am a walking, breathing white person, they usually snap right into character and shout "Muzungu! Mzungu! Hi!!!! HOW ARE YOU?" Mzungu (pronounced mah-zoon-goo) means white person, and it is exactly the same from every child. It's like they take elementary school classes....maybe there is a Yelling At White Ladies On The Street 101.

When they are staring, I usually smile and wave to be friendly. When they shout, I answer "I'm doing great, how are you?!?" which about 90% of them are not prepared to answer, and they usually just giggle and hide their faces. A few brave ones will say "Fine" or actually run right up to me after that and keep repeating "Mzungu!" or "Buy me a soda" or "I'm hungry" or just touch my arms or try to shake my hand. Overall, I find it pretty cute, but I refuse to buy sodas or give out food because I would quickly have a pack of children following me where ever I go. But it has inspired me to look into volunteering while I'm here.

(The not-so-cute version of this is having grown men shout "mzungu" at you every 30 seconds on a busy road or in the market. Or walking up to you and trying to grab your hand before you realize what's happening....but I'm trying to just pretend it's like being a movie star which almost makes it less annoying/creepy)

Also, a lot of people randomly shout "BARACK OBABMA!" at me. I need to devise a clever reaction to this - any ideas?

2) Greeting everyone in the room, shaking their hand, but not introducing yourself. I find this one odd. Kenyans will walk in, shake your hand (while keeping their left hand gripped in their right elbow, like they have to support their right arm), say hello, but not say their name. I always respond with "Hi!! I'm Kristyn!!"....and am met with silence and a blank stare. I now just ask names....but I need to ask my team what the deal is with that.

3) British English. There are some interesting hold overs from the colonial days that have stuck around in the language here. Problems get "sorted." Supplies and meeting times get "organised" not purchased or made. You "liase" with people, you don't chat or meet. One of the questions we ask our patients: "Do you have any problems toileting on your own?".....is toilet a verb?? There are other quirks I'm not sure are British, like "Can you pick me at 8am?" - you do not say "Pick me up"....just "Pick me." Or instead of "She didn't answer her telephone" you say "She's not picking."

4) The biggest vehicle has the right of way. Driving or riding on any form of transportation here is NOT for the faint of heart. On any given road there are bicycle taxis (boda bodas), motorcycle taxis (piki pikis), motorcycles-with-a-backseat/carriage taxis (tuk tuks), mini buses/passenger vans (matatus), and private vehicles on every road. There are also chickens, goats and cows roaming free EVERYWHERE (see #5). They drive on the left here, and passing is an art form....basically if you want to pass, you just drive in the right lane with your blinker on while flashing your headlights. If a smaller vehicle is coming at you, they usually get all the way to their side of the road and yield for you to pass. On very narrow roads, the biggest truck has the right of way and you have to maneuver to the shoulder if there are any bits where only one vehicle can pass at a time. It's pretty harrowing.

My favorite tuk-tuk (left) and people riding boda-bodas (right)

Also, there are potholes the size of hippos just about everywhere, which make highway driving at night extremely inadvisable. And lots of random, perfectly camouflaged speed bumps....those are brutal.

5) Free range livestock...everywhere. I was sitting in my clinic in Suba, when a cow literally stuck it's nose in my office window. Since there is obviously no air conditioning anywhere, windows are always open unless there is a rainstorm....and there are cows, goats and chickens that just wander the grassy areas in between the hospital buildings. 

I don't understand how people know who's chickens are who's, how they find their wandering goats and cows at the end of the day, and what's to keep my from scooping up the adorable baby chicks and bringing them home with me. But overall I think it adds to the charm.

Wandering cows (left). The chickens that crow outside my office window daily (right).

6) Grown ups using the kiddie carts at the grocery store. When I've gone to the bigger grocery stores here I noticed that there are 2-3 different sized shopping carts. There are the normal, adult sized carts and small, child sized carts. For some reason, Kenyans seem to choose the small carts. They push these tiny things around and have to stoop over to reach the handle to direct the carts. I don't get it.

Why use the small carts???

That's all I've come up with so far, but I'm sure there will be many, many other funny things I discover over the next year!